Owning your power …

What does owning your power actually mean? I’m sure if you asked 300 people that same question you would likely get 300 responses.

To me it means taking responsibility for the current state of affairs. Don’t get me wrong, I DON’T mean taking responsibility for something you have no control over. That would be owning someone else’s power lol. I’m talking about taking responsibility for the things you DO have control over. For allowing people to walk all over your boundaries. For the current state of your health after a lifetime of neglecting it.

I have decided to be brave and put myself out there. Owning MY power means that I can put this information out in the public domain and not feel ashamed, as would have been the case even as recently as a year ago.

I accepted my sister’s invitation to join her on the 12wbt knowing full well that we would be required to weigh in on a weekly basis. It was rather surprising to me that I discovered that I wasn’t ashamed of the number. Yes it’s high. But it is what it is and nothing and nobody can change it at this point. Shame, regret, sorrow, anger, disgust and any other emotion you can think of would just prolong the agony and paralyse me, likely sending me back into the whole denial thing.

I don’t want to be back there. I’ve been there WAY too long and I’ve had enough of it! I deserve better than being in that place. I deserve to love myself enough, to care about myself enough. Enough to what? Enough to LIVE! I’m fed up with sitting on the sidelines of life, watching everyone else participate while I basically rot.

So owning my power means admitting, out loud, the current state of affairs, taking responsibility for getting myself here and then making plans and implementing changes to get the kind of life I deserve!

It is with this spirit that I share my official starting weight from this morning, January 25, 2012.

217.4kg.

And it is with this spirit that I commit to fully participating in the 12wbt program for this next 12-14 weeks. I WILL:

  • Do all 8 preseason tasks
  • Trust in the process of the program
  • Trust Michelle Bridges enough to perform every task she asks
  • Admit when I make mistakes and seek support when I need it

Ali 🙂

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3 comments on “Owning your power …

  1. Hi there Ali 🙂

    This post makes me really smile – you are so determined and gutsy girl. You are going to do this! Just always remember Winston Churchill’s words, “Never, never, never give up.”

    I particularly like your fourth point above about seeking support – I allowed myself to drift around late last round when I didn’t feel I was succeeding. I didn’t seek support. The lesson I have learned in the last eight weeks is that the support is *always* there – but you have to seek it out.

    And also remember Michelle’s words about perseverance – she never said it was going to be easy – but she did say it would be worth it. Well, I don’t know if Mish *actually* said that – but it sounds like something she’d say, doesn’t it? 😉

    I look forward to following your journey.

    Leonie x

    • Hi Leonie! I’m glad I made you smile! Let me tell you, I don’t feel gutsy sometimes. But whenever I feel like that I will endeavour to remember this moment. I know others have said the same thing as well. That support is SOOO important hey! In the past I have been known to go it on my own and to allow others to walk on by while I sit in the corner not speaking up. After all, nobody would be interested in hearing about my stuff because I’m not as important as everyone else. At least that’s what I used to tell myself. Very unhelpful. So I am practicing opening my mouth and asking for help. I’ve done it several times now in my work and it is getting easier. But this part of my life is a completely different kettle of fish. If I thought asking for help at work took courage, then multiply that feeling by at least 3 and you’ll have an inkling how much it takes for this. Celebrations are easy to share … this stuff is not. Just keep on swimming, keep on swimming … 🙂

  2. The two hardest words in the English language – ‘No!’ and ‘Help!’ … and man, it takes a long time to learn to use them.

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