Dreams and courage to admit them …

Each of us has an inner dream that we CAN unfold if we will just have the courage to admit what it is and the faith to trust our own admission…The admitting is often very difficult!
-Julia Cameron-

One of my FB friends put this quote on her status just a few minutes ago. It struck a chord with me so I decided to create a post about it. I wonder why we find it so difficult to admit to our dreams … I guess there could be a number of reasons. What are yours?

For me I guess its fear. The lack of belief that I deserve to live a life where those dreams actually become reality. So is that fear or is it more a lack of self-worth? Probably both. I wonder at my ability to live up to the responsibility of what living those dreams entails. Let me give you an example.

If I were thin and energetic, what would I have to do? I would imagine I’d be required to do more STUFF. More socialising, helping people with more practical stuff, more housework, be more organised, and the list goes on. Currently, I don’t have to do as much. I have people around me who do some of it for me (like housework and helping with more practical stuff). And I get to sit on the sidelines and watch because I’m physically unable. I don’t have to become involved as much. I guess that’s my payoff. I don’t have to become involved. I’m afraid of being involved.

Does that mean the people helping me are actually enabling? I’m reminded of tonight’s episode of The Biggest Loser, when Shannon asked the blue team to step up and trust him enough to do what he asked. Hamish (the young kid) gave in to his inner voices that told him he couldn’t do it. Shannon’s voiceover said that this kid had been mollycoddled his entire life and Shannon was refusing to do it. So the kid froze in fear. Is that what I do? Have I been mollycoddled and enabled and have I lapped it up like Hamish? I’ve given away my power!

As I sit here typing this the recurrent thought running through my head is “what a bloody copout!” What kind of coward am I to be afraid of getting involved in LIFE?!?! Everyone does that kind of stuff. Why should I be exempt? And, what am I missing out on because of it?!?!?! It seems just bizarre that I could even have that thought in my head! And yet, as I typed, that is what popped out *sigh* …

Question is, what am I gonna do about it? My dream IS to be thin and energetic. To be able to fully participate in MY life! To be able to be more social. To attend picnics. To go to theme parks. To go on planes. To LIVE! And yet it also seems that I am afraid to do just that! Is that bizarre or what!

I wonder what would happen if I WERE to TRUST my own admissions ….

4 comments on “Dreams and courage to admit them …

  1. Having some insight and saying outloud is a huge step along the way. Ali have you heard about Ruby Gettinger and her journey? She started at 700lb (about 320 kg) and she had a show on foxtel – RUBY. You can watch episodes on the net now on the Style Network — just google Ruby Gettinger. I found them very inspirational and i am sure you would enjoy them. I think now she is down to about 170kg so she has come a long way.
    Sue x

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