I feel somewhat unsettled tonight. There have been significant changes at work recently and they culminated today with some news that, while not directly affecting me, will impact both my work and relationships with colleagues. Confidentiality prevents me from going into too much detail here, but suffice to say that things are unsettled and it would not be exaggerating to say that the fallout will affect both staff and clients over a large geographical area.
When I walked into work this afternoon I discovered that there was a bowl of chocolates sitting on the table. I successfully resisted them. With the unsettling circumstances and emotions flying around the office, on the way home I found myself fighting internally with the urge to stop for some cold rock icecream. I won this battle as well, and less than 4 minutes later I pulled into McDonald’s and bought myself a McFlurry and a hot apple pie, eating them as soon as I walked in the door at home.
I did so consciously, fully aware of my actions and the impact they would have. Do I feel better for having indulged? No. Do I feel worse? A little. I allowed my excuses to rule my actions, when I know I have done so well in recent weeks.
That said, I know that this is one event, and one event does not mean failure. It means a lesson. I have learned that it is best not to make decisions that may adversely affect your progress toward goals whilst in the moments of emotional turmoil. And while easy to say, this is much more challenging to DO.
So, the next time I recognise that I am feeling unsettled and in some turmoil, I will take a DIFFERENT route to my destination and practise some self care. I am beginning that today with an early bed time to do some reading, followed by a good night’s sleep. Definitely needed tonight.
Only time will tell how things will pan out at work, particularly considering that I will be required to use my skills to support a lot of people in the upcoming weeks and months as they adjust to the changes being made. I will need to ensure that I look after myself as much as I can, and be open to learning my own lessons and furthering my professional skills.