I’ve been feeling really unsettled this last week, and feel like I am totally outside my routine. I’ve had a lot of changes to deal with at work and they have created huge amounts of uncertainty and grief. The fallout from work has been pretty intense and I have had to support extra people with some complex problems while dealing with these changes. It has sent my head to doing some pretty loopy things. Also, my trainer has been away for a little over a week because of some personal issues.
As a result I have lost the plot a little. I haven’t done any training and have been eating a lot of crap, particularly in the last 2 days while away for work. I am finding that my head is all over the place, I am being quite mindless with choices on one hand and immediately I am arguing back and forth with myself, and still end up going with the choices that do not serve me and ultimately support me to get where I know I want to get.
When I re-read this I find myself getting teary. I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all the things going on around me and how I have been impacted. The last few weeks at work have been really intense emotionally and I have been completely overwhelmed with extra work with the changes that have been happening, and I have allowed those things to get me down and knock me off track.
That said, I know that I need to refocus, own my choices and move forward. I not only need to do that, I CHOOSE to do it. I want to live an extraordinary life. I want joy and excitement and love and LIFE! I want CHOICE. I want to be able to choose to go on a picnic, to the amusement parks, to keep up with some kids, to let loose and have fun!
I am an adult, and *I* am responsible for my life. Nobody else can do this for me, I need to step up and take care of myself. I DESERVE to love myself and it starts with taking care of ME.
Time to refocus and get back to basics 🙂 This weekend I am committing to doing 2 training sessions (after not training for close to 2 weeks), grocery shopping and preparing some healthy meals that I can have on hand for the next few weeks to make things easier during the work week. I need to underpin myself with some good supports and create some options that will help me to get where I want to be. It’s time that *I* took control!